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THE JOURNEY
of how far we came, in words of mine.

It was all in His plans for me to study in Sydney. Now that I'm here, it's up to me to shine His light.

FLIGHT 818 .




unspoken .





credits .

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FLY AWAY TO SYD
on the journey to Sydney.

4 years in Sydney is an awefully long time.
Catch me before I fly away, cause I'm having the time of my life.
Friends come and go, but the close ones never part irregardless of the distance.


Sunday, November 30, 2008
23:44

You should be warned not the step on me, for you will never see the end from me.
You should be warned, once out, it is hard to come back in.

The self-conceited me cannot see through other people's thoughts. So it is best you tell me what you want from me.

-

Emo post, because I'm currently on a steep learning curve of growing up and I've lost track. Don't know what's the right thing to do anymore. And I have not idea how I landed myself in such a position. Is there a bigger truth behind all these? Am I supposed to continue suffering till He says stop?

I will continue to suffer until He says stop, for I know I will be rewarded in the end.

-

The things to look forward to in the coming weeks:
- Food
- Drinks
- Cable skiing in Batam
- Friends I love
- Jigsaw Puzzle
- Cycling
- Golf
- Nature trails


Saturday, November 29, 2008
05:04

No. 5 Emerald Hill.

Found a really nice place to hang out at night or after work. But according to most, it used to be the most happening, now its on a downhill. Nonetheless, its cool. Martinis are 2 for 1 after 9pm every night. If you don't like Martinis, there is an Ice Cold Beer Bar next door. Coolios. :)

Drank about 4 glasses of Martinis tonight. Feeling the effects now. Really tired from a week's worth of work.


Thursday, November 27, 2008
02:38

Office Life

Work is a chore. The heels are killing me. Somehow, I can never find comfortable heels. :( And looking at those documents everyday, I'm so drained. To think it is only the 3rd day! Haha. I get tired by 2pm, from a heavy lunch and walking. Then I've been having afternoon snacks. So fat.. Need to exercise.

Well, at least something bodes well. Its closer to the weekends. Have been a really good girl going home straight after work. It's all going to change. :) And my Aunt called me up today. I thought she had some job offer for me. Turns out, its something of the equivalent or even better. She asked if I was free on Sunday to hang out. YES, OF COURSE I AM. Haha. Hang out always has a different meaning to it. :)


Monday, November 24, 2008
02:11

And they say all women are frickle.
But they do not understand what makes woman's mind tick.

I believe you understand what my silence means.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008
02:32

I smell of Mothballs.


Yupps, my clothes at home smells of mothballs. Ewww.

-

Been sleeping a lot the past few days. It is a whirlwind ride for me the past few days. First, I got the call on Monday for an interview. Then, I went East Coast Lagoon to eat on Tuesday night. Wednesday, I went shopping alone for some office clothes. Then on Thursday morning, i started vomiting my guts out. What followed was more vomiting, near faints, and no-eating. It was a race to be fit for my interview on Friday morning. That said, I woke up at 530am on Friday morning feeling hungry only for my mom to cook me some porridge. After trying to eat, I went to bed, only to find myself vomiting out the porridge I just ate. Somehow, I still managed to go for the interview and despite me not saying a lot of things about myself, I managed to get the job for one month. Probably the best thing I said was that I'm proficient in MS Excel. That said, It is still a race for me to recover, get fit, and eat properly. Which is probably the hardest thing to do cause I really don;t fell like eating and I have to force myself to eat.

Imagine me being picky about food and everyone around me being irritated because they do not know what I want and I only took small bites. Oh wells, 1 more day to recover and start eating. Hopefully. I've been sleeping a lot too. The tiredness just never seem to stop!

The worse of all, the pig trotter ginger dish in the kitchen makes me want to puke! Ewww.


Saturday, November 15, 2008
04:44

Home and Away



Yeap, here it goes, I'M FINALLY HOME. Exam on Thursday morning which I left 30min early. Didn't even bother checking the answers. Home to celebrate with a beer! Before some last minute house chores and then its to Bondi. :)






Then its dinner at the Victoria Room to celebrate KengLoon's 23rd Birthday. I was the youngest of the night by a mile! :) Okay. Dinner was pathetic. Food wasn't that good and it was pricey. It was the size of tapas. Really disappointed. Then we head to Woolloomoolloo for Hot dogs. It was affordable and nice! Met Simon there. What a pleasant surprise.


After dinner activity was Guitar Heroes 3 at Gabe's Room. Coolios. I'm bad at hand-eye-coordination and rhythms. Totally ridiculed myself. Haha. But heh, by the end of the day, I managed to complete 3 songs on the drums and guitar. Haha. Who says I'm not improving. Here's photo of me when I completed my first song on the drums. Hotel California!

Back in Singapore now! Cut and dye my hair on the first day. Haha. Pictures. Back to Fantastic 4! :)

Alex and I.

Younger Brother and I.



Wednesday, November 12, 2008
20:46





Haha.
The ♥ that warmed my heart.
Bak Kut Teh with noodles, and 2 hard boiled eggs. There is like 3 big pieces of pork inside. Shiok. Brought back my appetite for just 1 meal. But heh, its good enough.
The next 2 are the cheat sheets that I'm bring into my examination. It took me more than 4 hours writing it and you will never see Shu with such neat and tidy handwritings in the neat future. Haha. Its a master piece that I have to frame up.



Was in my room today. And I heard my neighbour, who was BBQ-ing in her balcony fart. It was pretty loudy. Thankfully she didn notice me in my room. Haha. EEWWW.

I checked into singaporeair.com alr. And booked my taxi to the airport. Have more to do tmrr, but my luggage seems like it is packed. I hope I didn't leave anything out. It would be disastrous if I did.



09:42

I am so tired. My day started at 7am. The time now says 9.42am, and I've yet to do anything, except yawn. The only goo news is that in less than 48hrs, I'll be boarding the plane back to Singapore. The bad news is that, I'm so afraid I cannot wake up at 5am. Sigh...

Headache. Its the accumulative lack of sleep and nervous tensions. The constant alert mode is killing me. I want to be in sleep mode now. I really need to crash when I'm on the plane. This lacklustre pair of eyes are driving me insane.

Okay, weather is quite cold and chilly today. The sun refused to shine. I'm hoping tmrr will be a bright and sunny day. Fri morning too. Please dont rain!

And yes, waking up on time tmrr for the exam. I want to sleep by 10pm. I think I need it.

Hopefully I can be productive for 3-5hrs. Thats all the time that I need for today. I'm seriously going to go in with some luck. Hoping I do decently well.


00:11

And the day just gets better

Possibly the best act of kindness I've ever received thus far...
Yanni's Mum called me this afternoon.
"I cooked Bak Ku Teh, and I'm going to buy some for you."
So Aunty took a bus all the way to Maroubra, and even walked up to my apartment even though I said I'll meet her at the Junction. She showed me the steps I must do to cook the Bak Ku Teh. She remembered that I wasn't cooking and living on instant food. Awww. My heart melted immediately.
♥ ♥ ♥

Part Two...
Had dinner at Seoul Ria with Erica, Grace, and the rest. And it was hilarious. Definitely made me laugh out loud the whole time.

Erica: Did you watch Fated to Love You?
Me: Yes, why?
Erica: How many bed scenes are there?
Me: -Laughing out loud. Then repeating what she said to the whole table.

Camwhoring Moments.
Whenever we said cheese, Erica would twist her fingers, EVEN THOUGH THE SHE IS NOT IN THE PHOTO! Haha.

Many more moments and photos. But I'm too tired to upload it. Another day perhaps. Nights. I'm going to wake up early to study tmrr. One last day to study. I need to make it right. It has to be right. :)


Monday, November 10, 2008
21:37

You know you're screwed when...


a) It's the first time the university is having this course and you do not know what to expect.
b) Your sample paper does not come with answers
c) Your sample paper has stupid and ridiculous questions inside, or so the tutor said.
d) You ask your tutor a question, and she goes "its inside your lecture notes, go take a look at it"
e) You drank a fair bit of sake during dinner and you still have to study at night.
f) You're just screwed in a way that you just want everything to be over now!


---

Was at Uchi Lounge for dinner with some of the Badminton people. Nice ambience, good food. Definitely more affordable than Kobe Jones. Didn't take any pictures of the food, cause everyone was hungry. It came in small portions but almost every dish was good. Had warm yamagata sake and chilled passionfruit flavoured sake too.



Me, Sharon, Sarah, Zong, Eric, Felix



11:20

Cause I am falling into depression.
:( :( :(

---
(edited)

For all that He has done for me.
He paved the route for me.
Now it is all down to me.
Do I take it in me, or let it disintegrate and embark on destruction?

We all try, but at the end of the day, we do not know if we've tried hard enough. Our perceived 100% may not be the best we can do. Don't forget the countless times you've failed to do your best....

Its all like the OLS regression. Our sample data may give us the best regression, but we are still liable to Consistency, Biasness and Inefficiency. The end product is not the true model we want to be..


Sunday, November 09, 2008
20:22

Bored as usual. Hence I decided to show you the work area cum war zone that I'm in now.
The 1st photo is my table in the room. The 2nd is the dinign table which is about 2metres long, and I've used up every inch of it. Including the floor.


And then there is Fuzzy on the bed, which as usual, has been banished to the corner. Facing the wall punishment every night and day. Haha.

I am like totally way behind schedule. Secretly feel like cancelling or just not appear for all the dinner appointments I have before the exam. Since I've mentioned it on my blog, I guess its no longer a secret.

---

Went for service this morning, then its Kam Fook for Yum Cha thereafter. I think the service talked about "Should we de-pressurize?" and about tithes. And about what can be shaken and what cannot, and your finances.

Ah, yes. It is about that. I wasn't asleep in service! Yay!



01:20

I want to sleep, but I need to study.
I want to sleep and wake up at 530am to study, but I cant sleep.
I was tired, but that tiredness comes the moment I stare at my text.
I have 2 more chapters to go, before I embark on doing the sample paper which has no answers.
I roughly understand the gist of it all, but if you ask me, I can't tell you a thing.
I have yet to memorise the characteristics and some of the formulas.

The paper is on Thursdays morning. This is mentally tormenting. I still have to pack and settle some stuff. Actually, a lot of stuff. I really don't want to fail. Really.

---
(edited)

Was reading Driven to Eternity just now. And there was this part about following the Commandments faithfully in order to be in the Book of Life. And so I was wondering to myself, is me being lazy allowed? Is laziness part of your 'old' self that you're supposed to quit being?

Haha. Okay, its super random. And I'm still not done with my chapter. I think I'm going to read through the last chapter and see what I understand. I'll just study harder for the earlier chapters. No time to lose... Pass/Credit, I want you!


Saturday, November 08, 2008
13:49

Home Alone

Studying alone at home on a Saturday afternoon feels like you've been abandoned by your family while they go on their vacation. That's how it feels. Once again, stupid econometrics. I got so bored, I started taking self portraits of myself.

Here's one:




And of my dirty room and my living room which has no tv and no soul in sight.






Friday, November 07, 2008
23:37

Kobe Jones
Haven't been in the best of mood in a while, but I try. I do, as much as I don't seem like I do. Went to Kobe Jones for dinner today. It's a Japanese restaurant located at Kings Street Wharf, Darling Harbour. Ordered the Perfect for Two to save us the trouble of choosing from their extensive selections.
Finally got my camera working again, so here are some pictures.
Daniel and I at the dinner.
Number One Special
This dish is so awesome! We ordered it a second time.
Definitely the best dish of the night.
Seafood Poke,
T&T,
Salmon in Ponzu Jelly,
Kobe Rolls - Lollipop, Caterpillar and the Alaskan Crab
The rolls and the poke was good! Very refreshing.
Sizzled Carpaccio Scallop
This dish wasn't that great. The Scallops wasn't fresh.
Miso Citrus Lobster Tail
An average dish compared to the standard of Kobe Jones. Overall, it was alright but it doesn't give you an awesome feeling.
Tajima Wagyu
It's served on a hot rock where you cook your own beef. The dish smells really good and you get to cook it yourself. Overall, the beef was of a high quality.
Ama Ozen
Dessert time!
Sushi Mi - fruits with cheesecake! Fantastic combination. The cheesecake has just the right texture.
Yuki Asobi - Japanese Tiramisu. mascarpone cheese with savoyardi biscuit soaked in sake.
Anko - Green Tea Creme Brulee. This dish served in a small tea cup had a flame on it when it arrived.
Dark Chocolate! - The 2 sticks that looks like chopsticks is dark chocolate!

More desserts.
Kanpai Trifle - Strawberry trifle with creme de crosis.
Green Tea Tiramisu


After the dinner, I was so full. (:

---

Home alone for the next few days. Then it is the most dreaded exam paper, and then it is home. I've calculated, in less than 168hours, I'll touch down in Singapore. (: And I'm all set and ready to party once more.




Wednesday, November 05, 2008
22:53

Who cares about the Elections.

I NEED TO STAY HOME TO SAVE MONEY.
and apparently, this is not possible because Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tues, Thursday i have appointments with different groups of people. I hate end of the year farewells. Cause it means meet up with people as if we'll never see each other again and its money spent when I'm pretty tight on cash. Okay, that's a bit mean because some of them I'll never see in the near future, but others?? HELLO. Fellow Singaporeans, we'll see each other in Singapore! (If I have time for you, which I'm sure I will if you actually call me and book a date with me!!) I've so decided to work next year, hopefully at T2, so that I can learn more about the few things I enjoy in my life.

I'm so in a RANTING mode now. I want to bribe someone to take the Econometrics exam for me. So dreading Econometrics because I'm staring at it and its staring back at me. As if we can never understand one another. I'm trying to make sense of it. ALRIGHT. The more I resist it, the worse it gets. And the more I will not study it, and the probability of me failing is even greater.

I will want to get into a bitch/cat fight now and start throw pillows and slamming doors. Breaking porcelains and what-not. And it has to end with a tight slap. No guys, cause I'll definitely lose in the fight. Haha. So how, anyone signing up for it? I promise I wont touch the face other than the slap! Boxing, maybe I should take up boxing and enter competitions. How cool is that!

Why can't I be a spoilt brat and people should just do things to please me and not annoy the shit out of me.

---

Saw my friend's online nick. "Badminton is the only place where I feel proud of". Whoa, what a statement. Ashamed, I used to be able to proclaim that too. Now, I can't and I won't.

---

Saw another friend's blog about blah blah blah.. And I was, ain't that sound like me?

---

HOME BOUND. HOME BOUND. HOME BOUND.
While the world is focused on the Elections, I just want to fade away and disappear.

---

To Obama:
You may have finally won the Presidential Elections and is America's 1st Black President. It has only begun. The World is watching and scrutinising you in the coming 4 years. Legacy or not, its your choice. Deliver your word and lead America out of the financial turmoil.


13:18

I'm in a bad mood and I'll pick a fight with anyone now.
RAHH.


Monday, November 03, 2008
22:59

Bent, twisted and diseased for the filthy profits.
Alas, one man tried.
Though he couldn't save the sickest, the population survived.


02:41

A crazy-ass day for me.

Woke up to go for the 10am Bondi service this morning. Slept for 5hrs max because I refused to sleep. Ha! Went Max Brenner's for hot chocolate and their signature belgian chocolates. Headed straight to borders there after to grab a book. Bought The Last Empress by Anchee Min. Its the seqeul to her book, Empress Orchid. I've always wanted to read it, so I'm pretty excited.

Then I refused to go home, so I went to Tea Two (T2) with the intention of buying some tea leaves. Picked out this one that smelt really fragrant. It's called Buddhas Tears and it's labelled under the Exotic section. Went up to the counter and said I wanted it. ZOMG, the price came up to 50bucks. But knowing me, after the initial shock and mentally calculating the amount of money I had in my ATM, I purchased it. Heart pain, and broke. :(

Then Joy and I wanted to look for shorts and berms. We shopped around and all. And we stumbled upon Afro Funk which had nice tops and dresses at relatively decent prices. And ZOMG again, I found something that I like. Ended up purchasing it 1 hr later!!

We continued to walk around to find shorts. Went to General Pants Co. and I saw this new style converse that I like. And its only 70 bucks. Maybe maybe. I havent bought it. But I'm feeling very "gian" now. AND WHEN I FEEL THIS WAY, ITS A BAD SIGN BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SPEND MORE MONEY. :(

Finally headed home to save my wallet the blushes. Grabbed my book and made myself a cup of tea. I reckon each cup would cost between 50cents to a dollar. ha! Read the book till I fell asleep. Ended up being late for Hillsong's 25th Anniversary Celebration at Darling Harbour. Managed to be there only for 2 worship songs and the 5-minute long fireworks. Thank goodness I went for service in the morning!

Then we walked all the way to the Rocks for dinner at the Waterfront. They had fireworks display there too, and it was nicer than Hillsong's. I wonder what is the special occasion today. Able to see 2 specular fireworks display at close close range. :D At dinner, I wanted to eat this main that looked really tempting. But it put there "market price". I decided not to make the same mistalke again in the same day. Asked the waiter how much was it, and it turned out to be a whopping $18 x 6 = $108. For one main! OMFG. Thank goodness I asked beforehand. Settled for this other pretty decent main la. It still cost me 50 bucks for the dinner. Imagine the amount I've spent in one day. Some frivolous, some essential to a certain extent.

Haiis. Its budget time YET again. I deserve it. :(


Sunday, November 02, 2008
02:14

He has his ways.

A week ago, I was complaining to my older brother about my stress level and that I was sick and all. Instead of the usual humouring, he just gave me a link, to go and listen to worship. Diligently, I did, and I felt better almost instanteously. My older brother doesn't know that my stressful days are kinda over, but he spoke to me on msn this afternoon again.

"Go take a look at Worship last week, it was great."

There may have been times where I wished he was all-so-big-brother-ish towards me. But I'm grateful for the times when he is. He does it in a quiet and subtle way. He does it silently, not through words or actions. But like me, he craves for people to just read his mind and heart, and understand where he is coming from.

-

I almost lost my phone today. Was taking a bus home from Kensington after dinner at Sushi Tengoku with Keng Loon and Melody. I put my phone in the pocket of my jacket, not the usual place where I put my phone. I must have been absent-mindedly playing with it on the bus cause I was kinda distracted and thinking about certain things. The moment I stepped down from the bus, I felt that something was wrong; The weight didn't feel right. Went back onto the bus again and I found my phone! Thank God. Maybe it was Him, maybe it was me and my alertness, but I'm still thanking Him for it.

This made me realise how important my phone is.
1) It's my only mode of communication, and my link to everyone.
2) All information (i.e. numbers) are stored in it, and I do not have a backup copy.
3) It's my alarm clock. Without it, I wouldn't have woken up for my 9am classes, 10am services and examinations.

Now, that gives me enough reason to buy myself a multi-snooze alarm clock when I return to Sydney next year. And have a backup copy of all my friends numbers..

-

Spent the past 2 days sleeping, watching movies and streaming. Watched finish "Fated to Love You" yesterday. Watched Blood Diamond today. Was watching Sweeney Todd just now before I fell asleep. Was so tired this morning that when I woke up at 11am, ate brunch and fell asleep on my bed immediately. Did not even bother to close the door or switch off any of the lights in my room.

Been discussing and planning my activities when I'm back in Singapore! Woohoo. :)

At the top of the list as always is my favourite Cod Fish dish. Then, similar to last year's routine, is a date with the hairdresser the next day I return, a date with the dentist and a facial appointment. I have yet to cut my hair since my birthday. Now its not only long, its frizzy and dry and unhealthy! I need a new colour too. Choose: Dye or Highlight? Cause I can only choose one. No $$ ! Oh yes, Eyebrows too. And maybe the nails... :) Its the feel good factor coming in again. I cannot let anyone see me in my crappy self.

Other food lining up for me is Kwey Chap, Shabu Shabu, Supper, my dosage of Prata with my YBro, Mr Bean ice cream, Haagen Dazs, etc....

Okay, back to Econometrics. I need to finish at least one chapter. :)